Thursday, August 13, 2009


One year ago today in about 45 minutes (well by the time i finish, we would have already had Emma's pictures) we saw Emma's little face for the first time. We left our house at 5:30PM for the adoption agency. We were very anxious and excited. We had waited so long for this day and now it had finally arrived. We could not imagine what this little babies face would look like. Would she have petite features, would she have hair, would she be smiling in the pictures, so many things went through my mind in that short 25 minute ride to the agency. I knew that I would fall in love with her the minute I saw that face, and I did.
When we arrived at the agency we were greeted by our social worker, Maureen. She brought us into her office and asked us if we wanted all the information first or the pictures. She said that she usually gives the parents the information first because once she gives the parents the pictures, they don't hear anything after that. They just keep staring at the pictures. Well, we decided to see her pictures first. I cried the minute I saw her little round face and those beautiful Hershey kissed eyes. I feel in love again! She just looked so sweet. I knew from that minute on that she was meant for us and that she was my daughter. What a gift! How lucky were we.
I have sat here for the past two days reflecting on our long wait, everything that we have been through with the death of our boys and making the decision to continue with the adoption. We started this process before our boys died and had to make a tough decision whether to continue or not, or would we look back and regret it if we didn't go through with it? We knew that it was something that we always wanted to do and even though we were in so much pain over the loss of our boys, we knew that we still wanted to go through with it. You don't get second chances in life sometimes and if you do, you better take them. I can not tell you how lucky we are that we did. We made the right decision.
We got our referral, which was two days ago on the 11TH. I have gone through all of Emma's pictures and I still have to pinch myself to make sure that this is all real. I still can't believe that she is really our daughter. She is perfect for our family. She has made me laugh again with out feeling guilty. She has put the wind back in my sails. I don't know what direction we are going in from here but, I can surly tell you that it is the right direction. She is truly an amazing child and we love every minute that we have with her. I just wish that it would slow down a little. She has changed so much before our eyes. She went from this little tiny baby into a full blown toddler in 9 months. She has come so far and is doing amazing things. We love her so much that it hurts.
I hope that the pictures are in order of oldest to newest. If not you get the picture. It is amazing how much she has changed. Enjoy and I will catch p with all of Emma's summer pictures soon.